Or maybe you have an antique table that's crooked and need something about an inch thick to put under one of the legs.
My wife and I laughed so hard tears came to our eyes as we saw our own girls aptly described in this hard to put down book.
Eight Simple Rules was so funny, I purchased copies for other DODOs (dads of daughters only) that I know.
In short, sharply observed vignettes, he touches a middle-aged-male nerve by describing the rage and bewilderment of having little girls turn into teenage monsters, but every complaint is punctured by a self-deprecating regular-guy-in-a-mad-world irony.
There are helpful hints (or rather, unhelpful ones, because Cameron admits that nothing will make any difference) for coping with the telephone, clothes, parties, car you used to own, and boyfriend you don't want her to hang around with.
The conversations he chronicles with his kids will keep you in stitches.
Written for specifically for fathers, I wound up reading many of the passages aloud to my wife and my righteously indignant daughters.
It's all rather reminiscent of Dave Barry, though of course Cameron's canvas is smaller, and for that reason alone, many readers will find that a whole book is a stretch.
This is definitely a bathroom browse rather than material for reading cover to cover--assuming it's possible to get into the bathroom, that is; according to the author, this is a coveted parking space for strange aliens who paint themselves for hours while dreaming of Brad Pitt.
Or maybe you've got a little girl, and are trying to figure out how to prevent her from becoming a teenager.
(Good luck.) Or maybe you once were a teenage daughter.
This book is a must read for any man who already shares bathroom space with a teenage girl -- or for some poor soul who may someday try to raise one.