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They are familiar with and fully understand the terror of being the helpless victim from their own childhood experience.

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Why people choose to abuse other people is a common question.

Why (adult) people who are being abused choose to stay in abusive relationships is another. Their early history consisted of receiving abuse themselves and/or seeing others abused (one parent abusing the other or their sibling, etc.).

Such people may abuse because of the benefits they receive from doing so, for instance, sexual or financial gratification, or the simple allure of power over other people's lives.

Think of any dictator that springs to mind and you will have the personification of this type of individual (Saddam Hussain seems to fit well and comes to mind easily).By choosing to be the aggressor and abuser, they may get their first sense of taking control over their own destiny and not being at the mercy of others.That they hurt others in the process may go unregistered or only occur as a dim part of their awareness. We welcome you to our site, where everyone will find what they want.Understanding Abuse People have difficulty understanding the motives of people who are involved in abuse.Given the choice between being the out-of-control victim, or the in-control abuser, some of these people grow up to prefer the role of the abuser.