Even if my employers discovered this sack-worthy secret, it was empowering to know that I was deliberately sabotaging my own career, as opposed to letting it deteriorate organically.
Had she been bribing me with hundred dollar bills, I might have socialized more readily.
And, if my camming experience is any indication, I might have even liked it.* * *The men I meet online rarely fall into the category of “anonymous assholes who have abandoned all social etiquette,” nor do they resemble the pasty, calculator-wristwatch-wearing forebears of chat rooms past.
Much like waitressing or washing floors, professional masturbation was simply incommensurate with my educational background and perceived level of dignity.
While others were free to parade around naked on the Internet, and even had my respect for it, I was intended for some higher, nobler cause – something that would make people gasp in a good way, and not out of horror.
Last autumn I sat in a midtown cubicle sorting receipts for my boss’s monthly expense report.
I had recently earned my master’s degree from Harvard and had accepted a coveted yet thankless entry-level position at a well-known philanthropic organization in New York City.
“How does it feel getting naked in front of hundreds of guys?
” asked Oldn Fat1 – a user who deserves kudos for his realism. Neither here nor there,” I said instinctively before correcting myself, “but I still have my panties on, so let’s get them off and see what I feel like after!
My mother always told me I could be whatever I wanted to be in life.
“I’m not going to judge,” she assured me upon learning of my new activities, “But ? ” While it is true that my mother used to have to physically pry the threadbare notebooks and Vivaldi CDs out of my hands to get me to “go play” with the neighborhood kids, money changes everything.
” Much to my surprise, I was infinitely more embarrassed to call my underwear “panties” than I was to remove them.