The more articulate you can encourage him to become the better chance you have of discovering if there is really anything 'off' about him.If you didn't know, there's a substantial population of people out there who are into girls "like me." These people are called "devot()s." Last night, he admitted to me (after several beers) that my disability is a turn-on for him, and he's known he was a "devot" since high school, though he's never actually dated anyone with a disability. The 'devotee' spectrum is extremely wide and diverse; from the very mild and almost unnoticable to truly psychologically disturbed who display stalker-like behavior.
The emphasis of the attraction, unsurprisingly, seems to be on what the disabled person *cannot* do.
Additionally, the You Tube videos and "fan" fiction I have seen have strong motifs of the humiliation and helplessness of the disabled person (both of which are incredibly offensive to me).
I become jaded after years of reading this message board, but I have to say that this is a really interesting question.
It is kind of kinky/creepy, but I think that is because I am presupposing a lot of things about why it is a turn on that may not be true.
It is usually the much-milder devotees (for lack of a better term) who end up in relationships, because their attraction to the disability is simply like that of any of quality found in a person. I've always felt sort of sorry for people with unusual sexual tastes, because to have a happy partnership they need to find someone who is GGG with respect to their out-of-the-ordinary sexual interests but is also a good match in all the other things we look for in a relationship - emotional and intellectual compatibility, shared values and goals, etc.
It's tough enough to find a suitable mate without adding "must be willing to change my diapers and give me a baby bottle during sex" to the list.My aunt married a quadriplegic and though we all thought it was strange at the time it ended up being a very successful marriage.I would give him a chance, but see if he can articulate what it is that he finds attractive about your condition.So what if this guy is a devotee, as long as he's generally a nice guy?He didn't ask to feel this particular attraction, it's just something that stems from who knows what aspect of his past or his brain chemistry.I've been aware of this group since I was about 19 (when I started dating, conventionally and online). I guess it depends on what kind of guy he is - can he not only appreciate the chair but also see past it?