If you hate football don’t say that you can’t think of a better way to spend a Saturday afternoon, than cheering on Bristol City. If you’re not sure about someone, it may take two or three dates before you can really decide.
Don’t tell someone that you will phone and that you can’t wait to see them again, if you have no intention of following through. Leave your emotional baggage at home If you have a huge line in exes, a past addiction to therapy and you still can’t forgive your Dad for missing your sports' day when you were five, keep it to yourself on your first date.
Too much emotional baggage, too soon, is never attractive. A first date is not the time to try out being the person you’d like to be, or the person you think your date would like you to be.
Stick with the truth and it will be a lot easier to remember what you said on future dates. Don’t make an instant judgement Many of us make up our minds as to whether we like someone in the first few seconds or minutes of meeting. I nearly ditched my gorgeous husband on the second date because he was wearing a tight polyester sports top and I’m not a great fan of man-made fibres (apparently I wasn’t meant to see it, but he got too hot under his thick jumper).
If you get too restrictive about what you are looking for or if you make up your mind about someone too quickly – you will risk missing out. Don’t rush things Take time to get to know the other person before getting too emotionally or physically involved with them.
If you already know the person and are pretty certain that you both like each other then by all means go for the big romantic gesture. My husband turned up for our second date with a bottle of wine, flowers and a box of chocolate biscuits, but soon realised he only had two hands and decided to leave the biscuits in the car! Making an effort shows that you care and that you want to make a good impression.
Unwashed hair, bad hygiene and yesterday’s clothes aren’t likely to win anyone over.
So don’t just be polite to your date, be kind to other people too. You may get away with that if you don’t see them again after the first date but if the relationship does last any longer, you may find yourself in a tricky situation later down the line.
So, if you are separated, don’t say you are divorced.
If you end up in a relationship – you’ll have plenty of opportunity to air your past sexual history, your hang-ups and all your past regrets and mistakes. After all, you don’t want them falling in love with a false version of you.
A first date, like a first interview, is the time to emphasise your best points not to draw attention to your weaknesses. You want someone who likes you for all you are, with your good bits, your not so good bits, your little quirky bits and all the things in between that make you, you. Don’t dominate the conversation If you do all the talking – especially about yourself – it will give the impression that you aren’t interested in your date.
Will we have anything to talk about and if not, how will we get through the evening?