The odds of divorce are 40 percent higher for people in remarriages, so the people most likely to divorce late in life are the ones who have already been divorced and then remarried.
READ: The Text Message That Ended Katy Perry's Marriage I heard one recent news report that 40 percent of online daters today are over the age of 50.
Ask about past relationships, and listen for dysfunctional patterns that are not likely to be any different with you. This is prime time to reflect and learn so that you don’t recycle the same mistakes you made during the last two decades.
Most people want to find a friend or a life partner, and to meet the dates who may fulfill this desire, many 50-somethings, about 80 percent in fact, do it the old-fashioned way — through friends or family. Dating after 40 or 50 means taking control of your love life, just like you do the rest of your life. Baggage bonding is when an early date shifts into deep conversation about some baggage you have in common. You start comparing your horrific ex-spouses or your crazy awful dates. Men know who and what they want, often better than we do. The last thing you want at 55 is to wake up in the morning with flashbacks to your days as a 20-something, right? His manners, his shirt, his smile, the way he talks about his kids. If he walks away from the date having shared too much or hasn’t learned about you, then there won't be a second date.
It means being kind to yourself and the men you meet. I have compiled a list of Dating Do’s and Don’ts exclusively for women like you. These are for the woman who is done repeating the same mistakes, and is ready to find her grown-up love story. It starts off innocently with a question like “So what happened with your marriage? Nothing positive can possibly come from this, sister. Yes, I know he said he was going to call you, I know you had a great date and want to see him again. That’s especially true of the grownup men that you’re dating. Unless you can talk with your dude about safe sex and the status of your relationship after intimacy, steer clear of the sack. Start off with the positive and try to stay in mode before you decide he’s not right for you.
More than 30 percent don’t even know where to begin and nearly 30 percent say they find it too stressful (think back to those sweaty palms and awkward conversations.) For more than 40 percent of respondents, other priorities are simply more important, and nearly one-quarter say it’s just too difficult to date when you’re 50-plus.
That’s true whether you’re 16 or 56, but more than 40 percent don’t believe there is anyone “out there” to date.
In fact, nearly 60 percent say they make better decisions about compatibility now compared to when they were younger. Be the master of the segue if he talks too much, or the conversation swerves into uncomfortable topics. Show up to your dates open, happy and being your already charming self.
Some 42 percent have better quality dates, and 52 percent say part of the allure of dating in the 50s is the absence of the tick-tock of the biological clock. But every day I coach women like you through situations they wish they didn't get into. Make sure you get to talk about yourself in a meaningful way as well. It will bring out the best in him and insure that you both have the best time possible. I Love You, there is something valuable to learn from every date.
Today, not having these types of common meeting places makes it harder to find single men to date. Growing up, we weren't taught who men really are and what makes them tick.
I know I wasn't and in the past, I made huge mistakes that ended up emasculating men.
Here’s how to protect yourself from a crushing late in life divorce: #1.
Realize that those you date — like yourself — have significant baggage, and be prepared to deal with it.
If you’re in that group, you are at significant risk for a rebound divorce, or marrying the wrong person, usually far too quickly, later in life.