The result: a set of rules for what you should and shouldn’t say when introducing yourself. Let’s go: Netspeak, bad grammar, and bad spelling are huge turn-offs.
Our negative correlation list is a fool’s lexicon: was also a successful word, but much less so (33%).
We know that’s going to piss a lot of people off, and we’re more or less tongue-in-cheek with this advice, but it’s what the numbers say.
If in doubt, it helps to draft an email, walk away and return an hour later to review it, edit it and, when satisfied, hit send.
This will halt any tendency towards verbal diarrhea and keep your match on their toes.
On the other hand, more general compliments seem to work well: is almost always used to describe the way something or someone looks, and you can see how that works out. After all, the way you choose to start your initial message to someone is the “first impression of your first impression.” The results surprised us: perform better, bucking the general “be literate” rule.
In fact, it’s smarter to use no traditional salutation at all (which earns you the reply rate of 27%) and just dive into whatever you have to say than to start with all did very well.
Once you’ve caught their interest you can afford to be a bit more creative.
Ask thought-provoking questions that will reveal insightful traits.It could be that appearing unsure makes the writer seem more vulnerable and less threatening. But either way: men should be careful not to let the appearance of vulnerability become the appearance of sweaty desperation: , 23%)!Mentioning your religion helps you, but, paradoxically, it helps you most if you have no religion.It can help your love life, and, besides, if there really was a god, wouldn’t first messages Though this post talks in detail about the content of people’s messages on Ok Cupid, all messages have been anonymized, with sender and recipient data and all IP and timestamp information stripped out.In addition, our analysis program looked at messages only two or three words at a time, to track the success of certain words or phrases (like “what’s up” vs. The program then aggregated results by phrase before presenting the data.Although the data shows this advice holds true for both sexes, it’s mostly directed at guys, because they are way more likely to talk about looks.