But the truth is that when I have dated, both in Seattle and abroad, it’s almost always been with Asian males. We all know that motivations are always this abstract, jumbled mess of things. I tutored Asian ESL students when I was a university student, both male and female and I always admired and respected how hard they worked.They were doing what I was doing but they were doing it in a language totally foreign to them and while living far away from their family and friends in a culture that was totally new to them.Something that I’m sure crosses almost everyone’s mind when coming to teach in Korea is, "What will the dating scene be like? When you’re moving to a new country you know things will be different, but just how different will they be? There are always those distinct differences that people find confusing, but these are the things that we can all get around. Back home, meeting a potential partner can be tough, so meeting friends of friends and hitting the town are popular ways to meet people. To me, it seems like being in a relationship is a lot more important here than back home, so Koreans are very eager to find someone special.
Sometimes this would happen after I had very long open conversations with him about the fact that I was tired of the reputation that Western women have in Korea and that I wasn’t interested in casual sex!
Actually, this almost always happened after having this conversation because I almost always had this conversation and yet still, 50% of my first dates ended in the guy seriously trying to hit a home run.
Of course, these are just minor cultural differences.
The standard/traditional dating rules still apply: the guy pays on the first date, girls wait for the guys to call them, and both try to avoid certain awkward first date subjects.
Beauty is important here, and for Korean girls, the wallet size is also something to consider!
That being said, love is always in the air here, with not one, but TWO days to express your love to your main squeeze!Now, some of you don’t know me but I don’t dress provocatively. Yes it is harsh, but I find it’s also something that women in AMWF relationships on the blogosphere don’t write about enough.When I moved to Korea, I read that showing cleavage and shoulders and all of that was a no no and so I didn’t do it. I come off as more cute than sexy, more stays-home-and-bakes-cookies than goes out to the club. It’s just that as a Western woman in Asia, you ARE a stereotype and you’re gonna have to fight that every step of the way if you want even an ounce of respect. When I came to Korea I was a bit ignorant and naive and honestly I was used to dating Asian Americans who’ve been taught to understand that no means no. In fact it’s common in Korea for girls to pretend that they don’t want sex even when they do want sex because Korean women are not always allowed to express their sexuality fully, at least not at first in a relationship (See previous link).Blind dates are much more common here than back home.Parents, relatives or friends will help set someone up in the hopes of making a match.No matter what culture it is, blind dates will always be a nerve-wracking experience!