I'm torn between my own desire for lasting relationship bliss and my desire to preserve the most important friendship in my life. —Something Has to Give Submit Your Own Question to a Therapist Your friend is going to be hurt. When you made the choice to start hanging out with your best friend’s ex without telling her, that’s when you made the decision to hide your actions, and possibly your feelings, from her.
On some level you must have known that she would be bothered by it, and you chose not to tell her.
You can spend time and mental energy finding all kinds of justifications for your choices, but that’s not going to be helpful, ultimately.
Always seek the advice of your physician or qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding any mental health symptom or medical condition.Never disregard professional psychological or medical advice nor delay in seeking professional advice or treatment because of something you have read on Good We end up having a great conversation, and try as we may, sometimes no amount of telling ourselves, “Pull yourself together, man! They likely have things in common and, even after the breakup, still share many of the same friends, and we’re all looking for love, right? Like it or not, we find ourselves appreciating our buddies’ tastes in women (what can I say, great minds think alike! Say a friend of mine breaks up with so-and-so, and we run into her at a party. Guys and gals get to know their friends’ significant others in nonthreatening, no-pressure contexts and learn to appreciate what their friend liked about them.I imagine you once thought that you would never choose a guy over a friendship.
Those beliefs get put to the test when we are confronted with real-world feelings and experiences.There will be no shortage of people with opinions and judgment.She, or others, may try to make you feel guilty or ashamed of what has happened. Is it unfortunate that you have fallen for your friend’s ex? Would it have been better to talk with her before things got to this point? However, all you can do now is own your choices and move forward with honesty and integrity.I don’t say this to judge or to blame, but I think it is important to be clear about what has been happening.She will very likely be devastated and feel betrayed by her best friend and by the man she thought she had a lasting future with.I wish I could tell you otherwise, but I think you already know this. You feel this man could be the love of your life, and you’ve chosen to begin a relationship with him.