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I broke this guy's heart in a really bad way last year.

Thing is I somewhat feel guilty about this because there were times when he wasn't like that and I don't know how, but he convinced me that I was the one with the problem. A lot of people have been telling me I'm a big slut and a **** for cheating on him. But I'm above being a tattle tale so others don't know what he was like. If I asked him to do something in bed, he'd get angry and threaten violence...said that sex was on his terms. Well, if it may help at all, I'm no shrink but clearly he was very controlling. Magoo could see that from Neptune without a telescope. This public shaming for "cheating," when he wasn't even acting as a boyfriend, strikes me as awfully sexist as well as just plain old hostile. What made him this way, I couldn't guess, but my goodness, who cares?

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I don't know why I stuck with him for so long but I worked out why I did and addressed the issues.

I sorted out my co-dependent need for a boyfriend..I now I do not rely on men for emotional validation any more.

If he really is a narcissist things would get drastically worse and his manipulation of you gone even farther. You have no reason to feel guilty and any person that listens to his whining is not your friend. This type of thing can really do a number on your self esteem, and I understand the need to have someone make you feel wanted after going without for so long. It could be that he is as dreadful as has been portrayed here, but again, we only have the one side of things.

He ignored you, insulted you and kept you at arms length for over a year but then cries to all your friends when you dump him for a REAL boyfriend? An alternative version of this story MIGHT be: Young man becomes involved with eager young lady during Uni years.

Finally this summer I got to a point where I'd see a man walking down the street and not feel scared...

I was actually scared of every man I saw, every single one because it gave me flashbacks to stuff. To people who don't know my past boyfriends, they look like normal people, even charming.Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc.Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing...I never mention big baggage up front but I think if I mention it at all I won't come across in a good way. :)oh hellllllllllll no, OP, that guy was treating you so neglectfully I can;t believe you stayed as long as you did. However, I do think that everyone including the OP, should recognize that this is only ONE version of whatever actually happened.You have every right to find your own happiness and don't let him play this emotional garbage with you. We don't know anything at all about the young man's side of things.And I asked why he hadn't sex with me for almost a year and he said, "I have too much respect for you to have sex with you". Then fast forward a few months and I meet this guy who pulls out all the stops, really shows me attention and makes me feel wanted and attractive for the first time for a long time. I confided in this friend about it and she told him more details and betrayed me because "he has the right to know what you did".